Christian ebook in the works

I need this to show the beginning of my autobiography/testimony These will be the first 1000 words of my answering the question of How I came to know Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I have 3 blogs with many jumbled ideas I need a starting point to develop the story that brought me to my knees as a radical believer in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ and how that radically changed my life. Though my story is tied to drugs, addiction, betrayal of friends and girlfriends to the eventual stabbing of my stepfather who made an attempt to hold me hostage and rob me with his three friends. With a repeating cycle of addiction plaguing my life and losing all my personal possessions several times. The people involved in the deception are coming to fruition and God's authority is beginning to shine a light on the snakes in my life and how to properly stand on god's truth about being innocent as doves and cunning as serpents. The many Christian precepts being taught through the story is almost overwhelming, but God's plan and purpose for the intense amount of enemies will soon unfold. Understanding how envy can play a part in many friendships is important to comprehend at an early stage in life. I often relate my business to the life of Paul and his journey to spread the gospel after his transformation and none of the disciples wanted to partner with him because of his past murdering Christians with a license from the Roman government to persecute followers of the way. Please help me collaborate the jumbled mess of blogs I have written into a formal ebook. I will use your thousand words as a stepping stone to push a lot more text, but I want to share the story because of a constantly changing narrative about my devotion to Jesus Christ, and the pain of falling short plagues me beyond what I can bear. I ask God daily why does he chase me with such admonition when Christians hardly consider me a follower? I am not blind to my barely holding onto the scriptures I spent years in rehab learning, I cannot live up to the standard I hold myself up to which is higher than the standard they mock me for not living up to. I hear the Lord calling me but I don't understand why I am so Loved by God that he came to my rescue time and time again only to bring me here where I try and fail again and again. With no family to support my ambition, a church that mocks my attendance, brothers in the Lord mock my faith, and I ask God if I can leave and He says no.